Concerns About Estate Planning and Family Secrets
A person wrote to Dear Abby about their concerns regarding their brother’s estate planning. The brother, who is 70 years old, is making plans with his partner and asked for the writer’s social security number, claiming it was needed for beneficiary legacies. The writer was hesitant to provide the information and called back to confirm it was really their brother who made the request.
A Request for More Information
The brother later asked for the writer’s passport number, stating that his partner had assets in China and more information was required for the paperwork. The writer felt that this was too much information to provide and asked to be removed from the estate completely. The brother was worried about the hassle of changing the escrow information but agreed to take care of it. However, he has since stopped talking to the writer.
Advice from Dear Abby
Dear Abby advised the writer not to feel guilty about refusing to provide the additional information. She questioned whether the person who made the request was really the brother, suggesting that it could have been a scammer. Dear Abby stated that a beneficiary’s social security number and/or passport number is not required if someone is mentioned in a will, and the writer may have dodged a bullet.
A Mother’s Dilemma
Another person wrote to Dear Abby about their strained relationship with their children. The mother had discovered that her son, Aaron, was sexually abused by his friend Eli, and she told Aaron that Eli was no longer allowed to come over. However, Aaron later revealed that it was actually his Uncle Joe who had abused him. The mother did not believe Aaron and told him to stop lying about his uncle.
The Consequences of Not Believing
The situation has led to the mother being cut out of her children’s and grandchildren’s lives. Aaron and his siblings believe that the mother should have believed him and supported him, and they are now estranged from her. The mother is trying to find a way to heal the division in her family and rebuild her relationships with her children and grandchildren.
Advice for Healing
Dear Abby suggested that the mother and her family need to agree on what really happened when Aaron was 10 years old. She questioned whether the boys may have been experimenting with their bodies and whether Aaron may have blamed Uncle Joe to keep seeing Eli. Dear Abby advised that the truth needs to come out in order for the family to heal and move forward.
