Understanding Interruptions
Tired of disruptions? Psychologists say there is a reason for this, and a leading communications expert claims there are FBI-approved disruption prevention and redirection methods. According to public speaking and communications coach Stuart Fedderson, there are typically two reasons why someone will interrupt or interrupt you.
Reasons for Interruptions
The first reason is that they think they already know where you’re going in the conversation. Once they feel like they get the point, their brain fires these neurons and they start interrupting. This is called “anticipatory responding,” a process in which the brain begins to formulate a response before the speaker has finished speaking. The second reason people interrupt is that they are not engaged or interested in what you’re saying. A person will interrupt if they don’t engage or engage with what you’re saying.
Effects of Interruptions
Repeated interruptions can undermine psychological safety and self-expression. Individuals internalize the experience, speak less, or censor themselves. From a nervous system perspective, frequent interruptions can trigger stress responses, especially in people who have had previous experiences of being dismissed or unheard.
Prevention and Redirection Methods
To avoid being interrupted and to correct course when interrupted, we need to strategically integrate engagement techniques. One such strategy is the “command pause.” First, phrase what you want to say in a way that gets their attention, like, ‘I really want you to pay attention to this,’ then pause for a moment. This delay signals confidence and tells the listener’s brain, ‘Wait a minute, this is important.”
The Command Pause Technique
The command pause technique can be effective in certain contexts. Strategic silence paired with steady nonverbal cues often triggers self-correction in the interrupter by inducing mild social discomfort and restoring conversational balance. This strategy works best with individuals who have basic social awareness and do not intentionally assert dominance.
What to Do if Command Pause Doesn’t Work
If you’re interrupted three times, you want to use your body language. As they interrupt, raise your hand and say, ‘Hey, real quick. Is it OK if I finish my thought?’ A raised hand signals “stop” and, coupled with a friendly facial expression and a gentle tone, calmly and effectively signals the listener to slow down and listen.
The Power Palm
The open palm is a subconscious signal of trust. When you put your hand up, you subconsciously signal to them that you can trust me and I’m not letting my guard down. So it’s very cooperative. This move, which is called the “Power Palm,” is effective 90% of the time and shows both power and respect.
Collaborative Language
Collaborative language, both verbal and nonverbal, is key to avoiding and recovering from interruptions. You want to close the space between you and the other person. You lean forward, your face has a warm expression, you tilt your head. You do all of this while you’re speaking and when you’re actively listening.
Effective Communication Approaches
The most successful communication approaches combine emotional regulation with clarity. Techniques are most effective when used consistently, calmly and without hostility, signaling trust rather than confrontation. Active listening or interpersonal communication is not taught in schools, and this is currently creating a major communication gap among Generation Z.
Active Listening
Active listening is key to improving both our likeability and conversation skills. Many people think that the key to being charismatic, likeable and a good conversationalist is to talk all the time. That’s not the case. Active listeners are considered charismatic because they make others feel good. By listening to them talk, you will be remembered in their minds as a positive person.
The Key to Active Listening
The key to active listening is to only respond or speak 20% of the time and listen 80% of the time. Effective conversations start with self-regulation. Tolerating silence, managing the urge to respond immediately, and listening curiously rather than focusing on yourself are key characteristics of emotional intelligence.
