Feeling Unfulfilled in Career and Marriage

Introduction to the Problem

I’m in my early 30s and happy in certain aspects of my life. I recently moved into a house and married a man I love very much. I have friends, hobbies, and dreams. One of those dreams is to become a novelist, although I currently do marketing for a technology company.

The Source of Unhappiness

This brings me to my problem: I feel depressed by my job. I don’t enjoy working in technology marketing; this is something I have done for the past few years to pay my bills. My job is stressful and fast-paced, and people can be impatient. I usually keep work-related depression at bay by jogging, writing, and spending time with loved ones. But lately, these things haven’t assuaged the negative feelings I have at work. In fact, I’ve started to find less joy in the things I normally do in my free time.

Fear of Failure and Financial Constraints

I feel like a failure for trying to write a novel despite working so hard. I’m afraid that if I quit my job, I’ll be unable to make the mortgage payments and cause undue stress on my husband. He is also unhappy with his technical job, but does it to support us. A new job won’t solve the problem because I felt bad about other tech marketing jobs that paid me enough money to afford our house and save for a child (another dream).

Seeking Advice

How do I get out from under this rain cloud? Do I want too much out of life? One solution that might work for me would be to get a part-time job in tech that will help me pay the mortgage while giving me free time for my writing work. Give myself a year’s notice, see if there’s interest in what I’ve produced, and go from there.

A Different Financial Concern

Should I change my financial arrangement with my husband? We have been married for 18 years and have a joint checking account. He has a separate account for his side business that is just for him. I have a separate account that I use for professional purposes to renew licenses and finance my continuing education. For the past few years, he has insisted that I pay my own medical bills (which were previously always deducted from our joint account).

Health Concerns and Financial Independence

I have a history of thyroid cancer and my family has a history of more serious cancers. He tells me that I go to the doctor too often. I usually go for a physical exam, thyroid exam, and gynecologist every year. We have health insurance. I’m wondering if I should just ask for my paycheck to be deposited into my own account and then transfer money to the joint account to cover our household bills, which he also pays. I don’t want to start an argument about this as he and I are quite traditional in many ways.

Finding a Solution

It’s time for me and my husband to sit down with a financial advisor and work out something that is fair for both of us. Our CPA may be able to help us or recommend someone.