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You are at:Home»Lifestyle»I’m a father, but spending time with my young children makes my blood boil – is this normal or am I a monster?
Lifestyle

I’m a father, but spending time with my young children makes my blood boil – is this normal or am I a monster?

Nana MediaBy Nana MediaJanuary 9, 20263 Mins Read
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I’m a father, but spending time with my young children makes my blood boil – is this normal or am I a monster?
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A Father’s Honest Confession

A Texas father has sparked a heated discussion about modern parenting after admitting that he doesn’t enjoy spending time with his young children. Justin Murphy, an author and businessman, revealed that his "blood starts to boil" when he has to play with his kids for more than 10 minutes a day.

The Unspoken Fear of Many Fathers

Murphy’s confession, which has racked up over 18 million views, has resonated with many fathers who feel the same way. He explained that he has several children, including a four-year-old son, and that he only wants to spend between 70 and 140 minutes each week entertaining them. This translates to about 10 minutes a day, maybe twice a day, during work breaks.

A Guilty Conscience

Murphy admitted that he feels guilty and ashamed when he’s done playing with his son, knowing that he’ll long for those days when his child is older. He noted that all of his other dad friends claim to have "joy" playing with their kids, leaving him wondering if he’s a terrible person or if his feelings are within a certain range of historically normal.

Support from Fellow Fathers

Surprisingly, many fathers responded to Murphy’s post, saying they felt the same way when their children were little. One supporter wrote, "Completely normal. You’re a good man. It’s hard to be present in today’s world, and I felt similarly when my boy was young. It will change as they/you age." Another supporter explained that infants are not very interesting to men and that fathers should focus on developing their intellect and career.

Alternative Advice

However, not everyone agreed with Murphy’s perspective. Some urged him to look inward and reprioritize, suggesting that the time he spends with his children is more valuable than anything he does for a living. One critic said, "I guarantee you that you have nothing more important to do than be with your child. Whatever you think, you’re wrong… Rethink your life."

A Different Perspective

Others offered a different perspective, suggesting that children develop better when they see a father who does exactly what he wants and is not influenced by the needs of everyone else. They explained that children’s search for dopamine leads them to devour something new every 15 minutes, and that fathers don’t have to be slaves to their impulses.

A Modern Parenting Conundrum

Murphy’s confession has sparked a wider discussion about modern parenting and the expectations placed on fathers. While some fathers feel pressured to be constantly present and engaged with their children, others feel that this is an unrealistic and exhausting expectation. As one supporter noted, "10 minutes of real presence a day is all they need. Most of the time I’m with them, I just want it to be over. I’m not alone in feeling this way."

(I Just Want It) To Be Over Dopamine Guilt (emotion) Justin Murphy (rugby league) Parenting Real presence of Christ in the Eucharist
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