The Exclusionary World of Mommy Cliques
The world of mommy cliques can be a harsh and exclusive place, where one wrong move can lead to social ostracism. Izzy Anaya, a mother of two fifth-graders, has found herself on the outside looking in when it comes to the elite mothers’ group at her children’s school.
The Hamptons: A Status Symbol
Anaya claims that her disinterest in the Hamptons, a popular summer destination for the wealthy, has made her a pariah among the other mothers. She owns four homes around the world, but none of them are in the Hamptons, which seems to be a requirement for inclusion in the group. "It’s like, just because I don’t have blonde hair and a house in the Hamptons, I can’t hang out with you guys," she says.
The Consequences of Exclusion
Anaya’s exclusion from the group has had consequences for her children as well. They are often not invited to playdates, parties, and sleepovers, which can be heartbreaking for both Anaya and her kids. "My children were alienated," she says. "The moms host playdates, parties and sleepovers, but my kids aren’t invited because we’re not friends."
A Culture of Toxicity
The culture of mommy cliques can be toxic, with women often competing with each other for status and inclusion. Actress Ashley Tisdale recently spoke out about her own experiences with a "toxic" mothers’ group, where she was excluded and belittled by the other women. "Why me?" she asked. "Maybe I’m not cool enough?"
The Damage of Exclusion
The damage of exclusion can be profound, with women often feeling like they are not good enough or that they have done something wrong. Anaya has found herself wondering what she did wrong and how she can fix it. "It’s worrying," she says. "It’s worrying in the long run. But what should I do?"
Finding Alternative Communities
However, some women are finding alternative communities and rejecting the toxic culture of mommy cliques. Amber Marlow, a mother of two, has found that her unique parenting style has led to her exclusion from several mothers’ groups. However, she has learned to focus on building her own community and finding like-minded women who share her values.
The Importance of Inclusion
The importance of inclusion and acceptance cannot be overstated. Women should be able to come together and support each other, rather than competing and excluding each other. As Anaya says, "We’re not in high school anymore. We don’t have to continue this behavior. We’re all grown women."
A New Perspective
Dominique Devizio, a mother from New Jersey, has a new perspective on mothers’ groups after being attacked by a group of women online. She realizes that the idea of a big network of local mom friends is not always what it seems. "Once you’re in it, you’re like, ‘Shit, there’s really something toxic in there,’" she says. She plans to keep her mom circle small and focus on building meaningful relationships with women who share her values.
