Introduction to Dear Abby
Dear Abby is a column that offers advice to individuals facing various challenges in their lives. In this article, we will explore two letters from readers who are seeking guidance on different issues.
A Woman’s Dilemma: Seeking Companionship Without Marriage
I was divorced twice and recently celebrated my 61st birthday. I look pretty fantastic and I’m in great health. My men were really great men and I maintained positive relationships with both. My first marriage lasted 20 years; the second lasted 10. I have been solo for five years. I love my life and lifestyle and don’t feel like getting married again. I like to do my own thing and have my own space and freedom.
My dilemma is, although I am open to dating and camaraderie, the men with whom I connect online all want to be married! As soon as I tell them that I am not looking for a marriage, they disappear. I was literally hung up on in the middle of a conversation because I reacted to the question of marriage. How can I "let’s meet in person" when the first or second phone call ends things because I am honest? I don’t want to lie.
It is difficult to try to explain that I no longer believe that I have to be married to feel fulfilled. I have family and wonderful friends in my life and I am very sociable. I admit that I miss some aspects of being in an exclusive relationship. It’s just that I no longer try to be a wife. The third time is the charm… not!
Advice from Dear Abby
Dear Abby advises that the reader may not have yet hit the right men, or she may be giving her disinterest in marriage message too strongly. She suggests specifying what she wants, which seems to be companionship and a monogamous relationship.
A Mother’s Concern: Helping Her Daughter Escape an Abusive Marriage
I need advice on my daughter. She is in an abusive marriage. Her four boys, aged 3 to 12, are affected by what is going on. They are not properly disciplined and are also abused. Her husband has a drug problem and abuses my daughter mentally and physically in front of the children.
Should I always have her bring them back to a bad situation, or should I call child protection services? That tears me inside. We are not young enough to cope with caring for the children full-time because they are so confused. You would end up with care.
Advice from Dear Abby
Dear Abby suggests that there can be a less drastic solution than calling child protection services. If the husband acts up again, she advises calling the police. As soon as he is out of the house, they can help the daughter find a battered women’s home that accepts her and her children until she can become independent. The national hotline for domestic violence may help locate one. This would be better than handing over their grandchildren to strangers.
